You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
