YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize