you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
