come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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