I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just high enough for therapy.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
