I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
