That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he shaved USA in his pubs
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize