Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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