He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
