I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The chlamydia really affected his face.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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