good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
