she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
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Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Rumble strips road head = magical
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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