So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize