you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
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She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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