If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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