just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
