I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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