Dual....:-)
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
