I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize