his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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