i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
