Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize