If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
