Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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