Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
