i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize