I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
