I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
