NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
