I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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