u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
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I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
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my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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