4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
