This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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