Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
zippers are such a cool invention
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
