I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
