Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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