One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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