don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
