I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
