If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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