jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize