Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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