I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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