Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
