His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
