i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
