I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
