You just made me feel so damn special
You work out of a Hotel?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
