I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
