so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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