Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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