wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The struggles of a small town man whore
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
