Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
