Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
