bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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