Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This is my gift to your gina
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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